Laos na hunk actor exhibitionist

Column: Pete-tik
Author: Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.

HA-HA-HA! Ang chizmax ng isang masahista (girl, naturalmente), shakira ever daw siya sa brazenness at pagiging exhibitionist ng isang not-so-young hunk dahil wala raw keber at pakialam ito kung ibu-yangyang ang kanyang not-so-impressive notes.

Ha-ha-ha!

Oks lang daw sana kung que largo grande ito. But the thing is, it's not in the least bit proportionate to his somewhat bulky physique. Ha-ha-ha!

Come to think of it, wala naman daw talagang taga-North and South Dakota sa kanilang magkakapatid dahil at the most, (at the most, daw, o! Ha-ha-ha!) Reggie Regalado lang sila. Oo nga naman 'yung isang actor-politician, regular din.

More so naman 'yung heavy weight na isa. Ha-ha-ha!

At any rate, puzzled ang mga intrigero't intri-gera sa show business kung bakit habulin ng mga chicks ang fading hunk na itetch na unti-unti na ring nababalutan ng too much skin ang dating kamachuhan.

What could be his secret?

"Darling," so says a bitchy movie scribe, "what he lacks in size, he enormously compensates by way of his long and exploring tongue. Ha-ha-ha!

"Believe me, an experience or seasoned tongue can make a woman deliriously happy more than a huge dick. Ha-ha-ha!"

Is that so?

Ask nga natin sa mama niyang singer/actress na naturingang Madam Curie pero biglang nagiging pa-bolosa kung ang emoterong hunk na ang umieksena.

Mukhang true. Ha-ha-ha.

CLAIRE NATATAWA LANG SA MGA INTRIGA

She is the singer of the hour. Even ignominiously eclipsing the gimmick-oriented Gretchen Barreto whose album is not selling the way she had envisioned it to be.

At dahil sa comparable siya sa isang mabungang puno, so rami siyempre ang pumupukol.

Naroroong sabihing nilalangaw daw sa record bars agn kanyang mga CD at 'di raw gumagalaw ang benta. andung palabasing kupas na raw ang kanyang pamosong smokey alto at gumagaralgal na raw ito.

"Nun'g araw, 'yung mga sosyal na hinahangaan nila, 'yun ang da best para sa kanila. ''

"Honey," she asseverates, "panay ang tisod nila sa akin and these people had no qualms in making it appear that I was purportedly a lesser person compared to the so-called elite singers of the 80s, tapos, how ironic na ako pa pala, modesty aside, ang mamamayagpag.

"Sabi nga ni Richard (Carpenter) , very, very few raw ang talent na kapareho ko. "

Still on Mr. Carpenter, extremely proud si Ms. Claire dahil ini-level siya nito sa husay at kakaibang galing ng late sister nitong si Ms. Karen Carpenter.

"Sabi ni Richard," she intones, "sa dinami-rami ng mga female singers all over the world, pag tinatanong siya kung sino ang fave singer niya, si Karen lang daw nasasabi niya. "

"'I can't even say Rosy Clooney, Claire,' he told me repeatedly when first met him in the US of A''.

"Indeed, it's most flattering na sa dinami-dami ng mga CD ng singers na pinaririnig sa kanya, akalain mo? Ako raw pala ang hinihintay niya over the years. "

Bongga naman, devah?

Sa allegations naman ng mga walang magawa na 'di raw gumagalaw ang sales ng CD niya sa record bars, ito ang say ni Clara:

"Darling, next month, I would be awarded na my first gold record award since I decided to give singing a try once again. ''

"Why should I get affected when my album was able to sell already more than twelve thousand copies and is still selling''?

"Let them talk," she quips. "Basta I know the truth and that is the most important thing. "

Oo nga naman.

NAGHIHINGALO NA ANG BOY & KRIS

Akala ko ba sensational hosts raw itong sina Boy Abunda at Kris Aquino? Bakit one-digit na lang ang rating ng kanilang morning show sa ABS CBN in spite of the tremendous efforts being exerted by the people in the show to make it veritably interesting?

Obviously, turned off ang audiences sa mga obnoxious outfits ni Abunda na 'di mo malaman kung ano ba ang gusto niyang palabasin. Ha-ha-ha!

How gross!

Ito namang si Tetay, napaka-forcing through ng arrive kaya ang ending, pinapatayan talaga ng teevee set kundi man lumilipat outright sa SIS. Ha-ha-ha!

Indeed, once a career is over, it's OVER!

And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

Source: Taliba